As a wedding photographer, I've listened to countless ceremonies. Some are lighthearted and quick, some are deeply emotional, and others are memorable for all the wrong reasons. Some officiants make it their lifelong career while some are just one and done. Whether you stumbled upon this blog or the couple you're officiating for sent you it, hopefully you can glean some helpful tidbits! It's such an honor to be asked to officiate someone's wedding day. I hope you feel loved, proud, and excited!!

After attending hundreds of weddings and learning what works and what doesn't, here are some tips for wedding officiants:

10 Tips for New Wedding Officiants

1. Make sure to tell guests when to stand and when to sit during the processional. It's so awkward when people stand for a long time, and it also makes it difficult for the photographer to get different points of view!

2. Open the ceremony with something relevant in regards to the day if possible; something a little unscripted, jokey, off-the-cuff. It makes everything feel more personal and ingratiates the crowd to you.

3. Include something in your speech which prompts the couple to look out at their guests. The ceremony goes by so quickly and generally the couple is really nervous. This helps them be present in the moment and hopefully recall aspects of the ceremony they wouldn't ordinarily.

4. Make sure you and the couple are centered under the arbor / aisle. While photos aren't everything, they're a lot. And an off-center ceremony photo is a huge pet peeve of many people. The couple spends so, so much time planning ceremony details, so let's make the most of it.

5. To go along with that, encourage the couple to hold hands or at least stand near each other - it's awkward when the couple is standing 10 feet apart. You should be behind them, not in between them. Or, you can even be off to the side. It is best to have a conversation with them beforehand about what their preferences are.

6. During important photo moments, like vows, ring exchange, and readings, don't do anything weird with your face or body. Better yet, step aside for these moments. And definitely step aside for the first kiss. There is nothing more awkward than a photo of a couple's first kiss as husband and wife with a little bit of the officiant's face showing between their necks or above their heads - just staring at them. If you're a male, step over to the groomsmen, if you're a women, step over to the bridesmaids. If there is a microphone, make sure to also take that with you. It's best to step aside slightly before the first kiss so you can ensure you're completely gone by the time they go in for the kiss.

7. Practice! Annunciate, allow for breaks, plan for when to look up. While it can be unnerving officiating for the first time, don't just read off the ceremony script like it's a book. Allow for breaks for people to feel the emotion. The ceremony is the whole shebang! Don't feel like it needs to be over super quickly.

8. Know whether the microphone is and how far you need to be away from it for the guests to hear you. It's a shame when there is a beautiful ceremony but no one in the back row can hear a dang thing.

9. Even though you're speaking, the ceremony is not about you - it is about the couple. Don't steal the spotlight with inside jokes you have with the couple that not everyone is privy to. Be inclusive and shine the best light on the couple.

10. Lastly, make sure you know the rules for the state or county you're officiating in; what is your title, do you need proof of certification, how many witnesses are necessary? An info sheet comes with each marriage license from the town that helps to ensure you're filling it out correctly. Most importantly - YOU take the marriage license with you and mail it back to the town.

But also, did you know that I am ordained? Yep, that's right! I usually only offer officiant services for elopement ceremonies. While I have conducted an entire ceremony before, I usually just sign off on a marriage license for a couple who wants their elopement to be totally private.

If you'd like to elope with only your partner and me (your photographer), then I can legally sign off on your marriage license. You can conduct the entire ceremony yourselves whether you share private vows, do a ring exchange, or simply just soak in a few minutes of peacefulness together while you commit your lives to one another.

This is also a great option if you want a friend to do your ceremony but they're not ordained, or you don't even really want an official "ceremony" and just want to make it official. Since I'd also be photographing your day, I don't usually say anything for ceremonies unless requested. I just sign off on your license.

Have any other tips you think should make the list? Let me know! My email is hello@tamaramerriphotography.com.

Or are you eloping and want me to officiate your day? Contact me to discuss your wedding plans.

xx,

Tam